Would you like to buy this pencil, sir?

When did you last use a pencil? You probably can’t remember. They’re unremarkable, right? Yet you’ll certainly remember the last time you were caught short, desperately searching for a writing instrument. That’s why it’s imperative that you spare yourself the embarrassment of having to ask someone. Don’t do that. Instead, buy this pencil.

One of mankind’s greatest inventions, the pencil is an everyday tool that is always there for us – through good times and bad. You never notice it until you don’t have one. First impressions are vital in modern life and, without a pencil, you’re displaying a negative image of disorganisation; you don’t pay attention to details. When they say you should ‘dress to impress’, that goes beyond suits and well-coiffed hair. You’re judged on how you look and that applies to pencils too. It will help build contacts and take your business to the next level.

Yes, you could use a pen. That’s what one of my naïve clients used to do, until it smudged one day. You see, our graphite friends are better than pens in many ways. A pencil doesn’t leak, it is smoother and comes with the flexibility of a rubber. Crossing out with a pen portrays uncertainly and fickleness, whilst a pencil hides such slips. When it comes to durability the average pencil lead can write for 35 (THIRTY FIVE!) miles - roughly 45,000 words. It can also write vertically, whereas a pen can’t cope. Next time you’re leaning your pad against a wall, notice how the pen always lets you down.

The only problem with these wondersticks is that you may never know when to put one down! We haven’t invented self-sharpening pencils yet but that’s ok – isn’t there a great satisfaction in watching the wood shavings spiral, guessing how long it can get before gracefully departing for the bin below?

Having clearly established why pencils are the way forward, it’s time to unveil the mouth-watering features of our latest model. Pencil 2.0 is made with state-of-the-art lead and environmentally-friendly wood, showcasing the newest technologies of modern pencilware. With NASA-developed rubber and a stylish grip, it blows free IKEA pencils out of the water!

When cavemen invented the wheel, they used a pencil to draw plans. The Wright brothers used pencils to sketch their planes. And what did Mark Zuckerberg use to draft his vision of Facebook? A pencil. Whether you’re signing contracts or simply making notes, you know what’s needed. To sign memorable events, you need a memorable pencil like this one – Pencil 2.0.

Would you like to give it a try?