Newcastle United's relegation - who I'd sell & who I'd keep

After another 90 minutes of absolute unprofessionalism from the spineless cowards that call themselves Newcastle United, any faint hopes that they’ll muster some spirit and avoid relegation have been extinguished. Whilst the six-point gap to Norwich is technically catchable, we’ll struggle to get anything close to six points. And I’m warming more to the idea that – if the alternative is survival and another year of this misery – relegation might be worth the risk, as long as the squad gets completely gutted. Of course, the most important transfer to be made will be replacing Rafa Benitez in the dugout.

The lower leagues are scattered with clubs who went down and never came back. Hell, Bolton have just been relegated to League One. So there’s a very strong chance that Newcastle won’t return at the first attempt and it will take years to do so. Yet I’m sort of excited for a shake-up that rids our fan base of the scum that call themselves our players. So here’s a rough guide to what I think we should realistically be aiming for with our Championship squad.

Goalkeepers:

For years, Newcastle have been solid in goal and I think Tim Krul can be sold without impacting the squad. A good man who genuinely seems to love the club, it’d be a shame to lose him but money and ambition talks. The only issue is whether teams will bid for a goalkeeper who has been out since September with an ACL injury. Rob Elliot and Karl Darlow will both be at their level, with young Freddie Woodman very highly regarded nationally.

Defenders:

Quite frankly, nobody will want our defenders. Championship-quality at best, Newcastle are lacking in both quality and quantity. Daryl Janmaat has no back-up, with only a fraction of the £80 million spent this season going on strengthening our biggest weakness. Goals are conceded at an alarming rate and I can only see Janmaat leave – he won’t be missed either. Chancel Mbemba has been one of the rare bright points of a shocking season and I think it’s possible he can be kept. Of the rest, Paul Dummett, Jamaal Lascelles, Kevin Mbabu and Massadio Haidara will stay and hopefully the end of his contract means that Steven Taylor will finally go. Mute club captain Fabricio Coloccini is an unknown but I think clubs will avoid him.

Midfielders:

Without doubt, Moussa Sissoko and Georginio Wijnaldum will go and good riddance to the pair of them. If Sissoko was anywhere near as good as he thinks he is, the club would be top-half, whilst the Dutch midfielder’s nine goals have masked his complete anonymity. The squad won’t be worse without them, just like Cheick Tiote who‘ll finally get his move to China. Gabriel Obertan and Sylvain Marveaux’s contracts soon expire, whilst the club will hope to con a French club to take Yoan Gouffran and Florian Thauvin.

There’s a chance that Jonjo Shelvey and Andros Townsend will go, just six months after joining. However, I think Townsend will stay and play a big part in carving open Championship defences. Nobody will buy Vurnon Anita or Henri Saivet, with Siem De Jong remaining due to his injury-proneness. He could be a huge dressing room figure. Jack Colback and Sammy Ameobi are Championship-level (at best). The big hope is that it could be a breakout season for Rolando Aarons, so it’s essential that he stays on Tyneside.

Forwards:

Seydou Doumbia’s loan expires, having only played a handful of minutes. Like Tiote, Papiss Cisse will be flogged to Asia and it’s inevitable that Ayoze Perez will get a big money move – he’s one of the few players that both cares and has quality. The huge question that will decide Newcastle’s promotion hopes regards Aleksandar Mitrovic. I like him a lot and think he’ll be amazing in the Championship – can he attract a buyer? His burgeoning reputation has taken a blow and he’s just about crazy enough to willingly stay on Tyneside. Pairing him with Adam Armstrong has great potential. Emmanuel Riviere will stay be default, as nobody wants him.

Squad:

GK:        Elliot, Darlow, Woodman

DEF:      Mbemba, Coloccini, Lascelles, Dummett, Mbabu, Haidara

MID:      Townsend, Anita, Colback, Aarons, S Ameobi, Saivet, De Jong

FOR:      Mitrovic, Armstrong, Riviere, Toney

SELL:      Krul (£6m), Janmaat (£6m), Sissoko (£9m), Wijnaldum (£12m), Shelvey (£12m), Tiote (£3m), Gouffran (£1m), Thauvin (£6m), Cisse (£3m), Perez (£16m)            TOTAL = £74m

RELEASE:              Taylor, Marveaux, Obertan

The squad will be decimated but, of those sold, only Perez will be missed. Possibly Shelvey and Krul. It’s then up to the board to quickly appoint a manager and plan signings, loans and free transfers. I’d personally go for Michael Carrick on a free and make him captain. The base is there for a decent Championship team, but it should never have come to this. On paper, this Newcastle United side should be nowhere near relegation.

Let's just pray this is one step back before three steps forward.